On Being Lazy

I'm coming upon my 5th blogiversary now. My how my thoughts have changed. I'm nowhere nearly as "profound" as I used to be, and when a brief moment of intellectual glory does appear, rarely do I blog about it. I believe it to be a product of where I am in in life. I'm not surrounded by those that stimulate me intellectually, nor, have I made overtures to those that could/do, to engage in "profoundly intellectual" discourse.

I've been hella lazy.

But da hell, people change, as do blogs.

This one isn't going anywhere, and I will continue to post intermittently. I've skimmed over the thoughts I've posted in the last 5 years or so, and even before then. I'm not engaged like I used to be. I don't care like I used to. Clearly. Wonder what that's about?

I'm lazy, yea. I'm not nearly as busy as I could be. That was brought to my attention by my latest realization. Funny he thinks all I do is party and hit the streets. I doth protest, but really, if I ain't working, I am out socializing. But not with him. Perhaps he DOES have a point. I'm enjoying my social life in the ATL, finally, but at the expense of my altruistic and other personal endeavors.

I could blame it on the house hunt. That's just about over.
I could blame it on my career. Nah, I like that too much.
I could blame it on my sister. Giggles.
I could blame it on my rotation. Kicks and Giggles. Aloud.
I could blame it on the economy. This ain't funny, ain't a damn thing to laugh about.

I'm just LAZY.

But I'm tired of being lazy. I had a long conversation with my best friend about life and how he's getting along in China. I came away realizing I'm not engaging my friendships and relationships to my benefit. Our conversation has inspired me to get off my arse and stop being lazy. There's much I can contribute and much I NEED to do. And even when I think there's not much I can add, turns out I've made an impact, where I least expected.

Now THAT'S profound.

[Song of the Day: "Ken Lee" by Bulgarian Idol]

Realizations

10 years ago I came back from Costa Rica to a broken relationship with a man I believed was my future.

This morning I woke up with a man that fulfills just about every criteria I believed to be ideal in a life partner, but with all the accoutrements comes the realization that this cannot may not work.

Half way to 35 and I still haven't gotten it right. Or it still hasn't appeared to me as so intended. Or is this what IS intended?

I've gone round and round with myself and with others about seeing the positives before the negatives and how to become less pessimistic and more optimistic about the potentials or "randoms," however you choose to call it, in my life.

I don't earnestly go LOOKING for something "wrong" but I recognize when something won't be overcome, and I struggle then, with what to do...because "settling" is something I'll never grow comfortable with. Ever.

Yep, I am definitely going to get me a dog when I move.

..::More to Come::..