If one more person dies....

I've found myself REPEATING that phrase this summer. It's painful to count the number of deaths, public and private, that I've learned about.


The tragic...

The unexpected...

The expected, if you will.


The latest (knock on wood) surely took me by surprise (again). I remember meeting E. Lynn back in the 90s at Vertigo Books, when it was in Dupont Circle. I had copies of his latest book in hand for his reading and his signature, as well as copies of his earlier books for my then-roommate. I didn't have my camera, so no pictures where taken, but I remember him being gracious and thankful that so many came out to support his work. Sadly, I've yet to upack my books from my move LAST YEAR, so that book, along with the others I've bought at many a now-closed independent book store are sitting in boxes upstairs, waiting, for a brand new bookcase to call home.....


I've never been a buyer of books, so I'm likely not a novelists' BFF. Rather, I'm a supporter of my local library and it's there that I test drive books that I may decide to add to my collection. When that decision is made, more often than not, I make the purchase at my local, independent bookstore. Although I've not found or supported a particular store here in the ATL, I have fond memories of the stores long gone that I frequented in DC:


Bicks Books in Adams Morgan, where my "fetish" for erotica was born and stoked...

Karibu, first in PG Plaza, then Bowie...where I knew folks and folks knew me...

Vertigo in Dupont, then College Park...

Kramerbooks & Afterwords, and my first "date" with the Good Rev. Dr...

Olsson's downtown at Metro Center, was it?...


For all the stories & characters, quotes & scenes, lyrics & sounds I've loved before, by all the authors and artists that are no longer with us, I bid you adieu and pray that you rest, peacefully....

..::More to Come::..

An Ode...

- to be completed
- before the end of the month
- promise!


It all started with ice cream and trains...and ended with rainier cherries and rug burns. The "..." won't be revisionist history, nor is it the stuff of novel(as), but it should be documented.

..::More to Come::..

Song of the Day: "Everybody's Somebody's Fool" by Etta James

Epiphany

That Chrisette Michelle version allowed for one final Jill Scott version and I'm left with scars!!

"Watching,
Watching as he took the holder off his shoulder
Fire in his eyes, hands getting bolder
Quiet, quiet
Growing excited
Dug him for his bank account, but really for
his private
Damn about a mindset
Really wasn't into that
Needed me some pleasing, Mr Perfect looking real fat
Laidback was his foreplay
All that was needed, needed was some of that
Started simple
Massaging on my temple
Pinching on my mountain peaks
That a sisters into
I responded,"Mmmmm."
You like the sound, I like makin' it more
I fell for the rock and shore
Enough, he brought it close so I could really see
Up close he slid between my breast
Sweaty with lust and sweat

Rode Mt. Saint Jackson 'til ooooo
Creamy lava landed on my skin and neck
Blended with my all day Chanel scent
This freaking was incredulent, decadent
Flip side, stomach meets sheets
He plows inside as if he's making beats
As if this year's harvest depended on it
Bendin'on it
Back on my back old fashioned is renewed
Red toenail polish on whitewalls
Documenting this freaking, ahhhhh
I must...
Remember...
To thank him...
Later.
No,no,no,
No,no,no
I take charge of ship
Moving with my back and my hips
Like my ancestors did
Speaking the Bantu, Ranga and Tonga
But I've gotta stop all that to make it longer
But it's too late
I put him to sleep
Curled all up, spasm all in his feet
Feeling all proud like I did something deep
Ain't really nothin' it's the way that it be
Southern Cali sister repin' hard like me
But why do I feel so empty?"

..::More to Come::..

I owe...

him a positive post. That much is true. So what if he's following me on Twitter. I'm not protecting my Tweets for nobody. Never have I hidden my thoughts. But, for all that he may perceive as negative, I'm in a grown state of mind, and he needs to see that there are things that I love about him, too....

Always a day late, and dollar short, though....

..::More to Come::..

The End.

In the end, it wasn't as painful as I thought.

But finito, it is....por fin!!

We wish each other well. We go our separate ways.

God's blessings are in store....and that makes me smile, even when my heart is breaking.....


Song of the Day: "Yesterday" by Shanice

Snippets on Confidence

I am thankful for such a beautiful day today. I got my "iPraise" on in the Park today!

I am feeling more confident about changing my mind. I have tolerated less than I deserve for entirely too long and it's past time for me to put my desires and needs FIRST, for a change. Even if that means possibly hurting another's feelings. I read my horoscope for the day and it resonated deeply:

"You want to be with someone on a private, intimate, personal level, to be needed, and to feel it's okay to have needs. A time of nostalgia and domesticity begins now emphasizing a need for security and a sense of roots. Make effort to connect with new people and perhaps you'll meet someone significant at this time."

Security. That is at the root of all my desires, truly. I have to let go of that which jeopardizes my security, in health, in love, in life. And...I have to regain that confidence that I lost, so that I can engage and meet others that will bless the path towards fulfillment. That is it in a nutshell. No need to get "deep" as I can't seem to find the words for that, anyhow. . . . .

But pray with me as I change my life and another's.

..::More to Come::..

What a 2 do list!

Friday night's agenda:

1. Birthday party @Taboo2
2. Bachelorette Party with 2 entertainment "features"
3. Afterparty with.....

Tonight should be quite the wild ride. Damn shame, I have to be up and out the house before 9am on Saturday....

I hope I can drive, let alone stand by morning LMAO

Year 1....

A year ago today, I became a first-time homeowner! I didn't blog about that process much, if at all, but believe when I say it was an exciting, thrilling, all-encompassing, process that birthed a home that I most enamored with!

I look forward to many more years growing into my space and filing it with the love of family and friends. It's everything I wanted in a "starter" home, I suppose. More than I know what to do with at the moment, but in due time.....

I'm not big on posting pics of my baby, but I did at one point reference moving into the house on my "virtual housewarming blog", which I also have neglected of late. There you can see an image of what she supposedly looks like LOL

As lifes' events transpire more pictorial evidence will be produced. Stay tuned....

..::More to Come::..

Seeking...

Motivation
and
Inspiration
desperately....

Cuz that which covers my thoughts is nothing to talk about. I've got to be led in another direction, by SOMETHING.

Anything, at this point.

For revitalization purposes, of course.

And when I get just a moment of freethinktime, I'll be fleshing out the previous posts' that I've left....

hanging.

..:: More to Come ::..

Dot.dot.dot...

Got some filings replaced today, after some 20plus years....

I'm numb, my face feels like its sliding off my skull and I am HUNGRY!!!!

Mental note: Dental work should be done at the END of the day, after I've eaten and enjoyed ALL my favorite foods.

Yogurt, ice cream, and smoothies feel good to the sensitive area, but a sista is STARVING!! So, I'm going to pop one last Tylenol PM and dream of the most delicious breakfast!

May the numbness be gone and my face be in place LOL

Hatred: Self or Women?

Events of the last week have me questioning the level of HATE apparent in relationships and then I saw this:

And I'm literally left speechless.....so let me compose my thoughts and I'll be back to address this place holder.

..::More to Come::..

RIP, MJ

All I can say is may Michael Jackson rest, peacefully. Finally....








It's been quite a day. I need a bucket of chicken. Who wants to share?! LOLOLOLOL

My Brother's Keeper?

What happened to "am I my brother's keeper?"

Y'all gotta help save each other. This ish is ridiculous. Preventable. Irresponsible nonsense. We ALL know better.

Lives have been damaged. Needlessly. And all I hear is the same lame excuse -- the 'lil head' made me do it.

Really though? REALLY? That's ALL you got?! Wow. Just wow...that's all I can muster in response.

BOOKS have been written on why mean cheat, so no one desires to belabor that point. But promising lives, taken, over some pussy and dick? The foolishness has to end. Why come men can't stand up for righteousness, and BE their brother's keeper?

"Man Card" be damned. Such choices are killing folks and leaving multiple lives, damaged and destroyed. All for some pussy and dick.

Can't be worth it. EVER, in my mind. But the men...and women, allowing this, rationalize it in some way.

Be your brother's keeper. Be your sister's keeper, for that matter.

Check the irresponsibility.

Live.

..::More to Come::..

Back to the Blog -- 58 will be done

In the spirit of Number 58, and because I really DO want to knock more of these off the "to-do" list, July will be the month I succeed in crossing one more off the list. And I gather it will be therapeutic in a sense. A retreat, if you will, back into a space I can call my own. I won't promise anything profound, nor mundane, and cannot even promise fully developed thoughts or paragraphs, but a blog will be a blog will be a blog, nonetheless.

I am up much to early today, for my mind is full. Alas, this is vacation, however, today I do want to spend time considering the things that I desire to fulfill over the next 6 months. My, how the year is flying by! A day for introspection, I suppose. I'll get my requisite amount of lounging in, of course, but I desire to have some semblance of a plan or at least a task list for what comes next by the time I depart for home.

But first, back to the bed! Then breakfast by the pool, then the beach, then......

..::More to Come::..

When it rains

When it rains, the skies completely open up. Everything is soaked, drenched and I'm left wondering if there is any precip left to fall?

I'z here. Settled, enjoying the solitude. The beach will call to me in la manana, as will the pretty drinks at the tiki bar by the pool.

Catching up on my reading. Journaling & blogging. Resting.

Massage all my tension, worries, stress awayyyyyyyyy.....

If temptation calls, I may not answer. If temptation does not call, should I consider it success?

..::More to Come::..