post-memory-dreams

He appears to me in my dreams.

And he ADORES me.

 Nah, can't say I've heard his voice. But I know his face. His body. His mannerisms. Him.

Communication is happening. My senses are responding to him. So he is communicating with me, somehow, some way, in my dreams.

It's the version I remember. Younger. Youthful, maybe. Yet still mature. Grown-man. Responsible. Accountable. Reliable. Intellectual and intelligent. Goofy. Funny. He makes me smile. In my dreams...for I know I am/was LOVED.

And when I wake up...smiling, I shake my head.

How can this be...that HE is all in my head like this? Subconsciously?

I believe this to be my heart and mind stirring...longing. Desire for attention and affection that has been denied by years of heartbreak and heartache. Conjuring up memories in the form of dreams of long ago LOVE. To remind me that I DO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS...and that I am waaayyyy overdue for a healthy dose of intimacy and love with a deserving man. That relationship. That what existed before, can not only exist again, but be even BETTER! How a m a z i n g would that be?!

So no, it isn't HIM per se, that I want again...for he is off the market, married with children...but that experience.

LOVE
TRUST
INTIMACY
COMMUNION
PARTNERSHIP

He appears to me in my dreams more often than I care to admit. So the impetus is there. I'm being encouraged, subconsciously. Now, to only make myself available...

How?

[More to Come]