B R E A T H E

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When I initially signed up for this short, 5-week seminar, I thought it to be something I would find useful in reigning in my life from all the ways it seemed to be spiraling out of control. As if ​I​ was at this precipice where I could jump into all things hedonistic and lavish and extreme in my pursuit of pleasure.  Or, I could get some context and control and apply deliberate thought and action to my life choices.

​B R E A T H E...

As it turns out, it has been nothing as I would have imagined. After the first couple weeks, I was worried, if only slightly annoyed, that it was becoming a venting therapy session for many of my fellow attendees/sisters. I hadn't signed up to hear all of their struggles and concerns and reflections on life choices. In many instances it was the Hallelujah choir, cosigning along and we didn't seem to be sticking to the agenda or text of the day. 

​Yet, a shift happened in my perspective and I came to realize that in hearing these women's stories, I was getting guidance for my own future. A form of spiritual mentorship that I hadn't even considered. I had hoped to get tools and strategies to find breathing room in my life to do my work, on me. I feel that having met and learned to live with the beast of chronic illness, I know how to make space for me, time for rest, down time, if you will, in my life. I wasn't seeking to learn how to do that; rather, I was anticipating ways I could use this "margin" to facilitate growth. Use this margin in an efficient and effective manner to get off my ass and get busy about preparing for the next phase of my life. Lawd knows I have wasted more than enough time!

We are on hiatus this week for spring break, and it's given me time to catch up and also review the principles of Sabbath:

RESIST the urge to continue 

REMEMBER what you used to be

RECALL what God has accomplished on your behalf

What I have realized is that there is a lesson for me in this, in how I think. I was spiritually admonished to RESIST the urge to continue thinking in the same manner.  This was not a hen session full of complaining women. This was guidance from my elders on how I could do better and be better. I was encouraged to REMEMBER what I used to be, what I used to desire, what I aimed to have. I was reminded to RECALL all that God has already done for me! I came to also understand that this seminar is evidence of God working in me, for allowing me to be present for this.

Looking forward to how this seminar wraps up and meeting my Secret Breathe Sister who has poured additional blessing into me over the past few weeks! I am grateful for this experience, indeed.