"Most circumstances, I know my fate
But in this love thang, I don't get the game.
Why does it feel like those who give in,
They only wind up losing a friend?
. . . :: . . .
Why do we love Love,
When Love seems to hate us?"
The question has crossed my mind more than I care to admit lately. I have to wonder, especially when I consider it's been over a decade since I was last in.love. Over a decade since I was seriously.involved. Over.a.decade. Ouch!
I've been lamenting this for years, yes. However, I am finally, honestly, engaged in a process to do something about it. As much as I have shifted blame to the shiftless, trifling, negroes I have let into my orbit, it really all boils down to me and my readiness for love. I haven't been sincere about this before and boy, does it ever show. I'm afraid I have been afraid. But prayerfully, no more.
I have been studying and learning the 5 Love Languages for a few months now and asking for God's guidance and my acceptance that his will be done in matters of my heart. Truly, this pertains to more than just my potentially romantic relationships, as well. For relationships that I have cherished for years with persons I consider dear and close friends are fragile and an effort will be required to sustain them. For interactions I have had with newer acquaintances have been unfulfilling and perplexing, and all of this is an affect of ignoring my heart.
In these lessons I pray I will overcome this fear and allow the necessary vulnerability to be present so that my emotional, mental, spiritual growth will no longer be impeded. It is one thing to say I WANT love, and quite another to ACT in a way to both give and receive it. No more excuses!
Lately, I've become reacquainted with many persons from my past, and while these reconnections were never something I looked for, I have been all too pleased from the reminiscing that occurs. I've even been surprised by the revelations! Now, some of these friendships will be sustained, others will again fall by the way side, but I can accept that, and not hold any feelings or emotions about it. I came across a meaningful quote not long ago that summed up this notion nicely:
Song of the Day: "Lions, Tigers & Bears" by Jazmine SullivanI've been lamenting this for years, yes. However, I am finally, honestly, engaged in a process to do something about it. As much as I have shifted blame to the shiftless, trifling, negroes I have let into my orbit, it really all boils down to me and my readiness for love. I haven't been sincere about this before and boy, does it ever show. I'm afraid I have been afraid. But prayerfully, no more.
I have been studying and learning the 5 Love Languages for a few months now and asking for God's guidance and my acceptance that his will be done in matters of my heart. Truly, this pertains to more than just my potentially romantic relationships, as well. For relationships that I have cherished for years with persons I consider dear and close friends are fragile and an effort will be required to sustain them. For interactions I have had with newer acquaintances have been unfulfilling and perplexing, and all of this is an affect of ignoring my heart.
In these lessons I pray I will overcome this fear and allow the necessary vulnerability to be present so that my emotional, mental, spiritual growth will no longer be impeded. It is one thing to say I WANT love, and quite another to ACT in a way to both give and receive it. No more excuses!
Lately, I've become reacquainted with many persons from my past, and while these reconnections were never something I looked for, I have been all too pleased from the reminiscing that occurs. I've even been surprised by the revelations! Now, some of these friendships will be sustained, others will again fall by the way side, but I can accept that, and not hold any feelings or emotions about it. I came across a meaningful quote not long ago that summed up this notion nicely:
... people happen your life. They move in or pass through. You can't make it be either, but you have to enjoy whatever there is...Learning to apply this principle in my quest to learn about love may be a challenge, but it gets to the heart of my fear. Letting go of the fear should allow me to grow in love. Prayerfully so....
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