Karma's Tears

Unrequited affection.
Unrealized potential.
I've shed a tear.

Karma is a bitch.

A few years back I was a brothas piece. Yes, me. It was a strictly dickly affair. Now, he was "reasonably attractive" (I've always wanted to use that phrase LMAO), single, no kids, employed, with his own place and car, got along with his family, non-smoker, educated, yanno....all the things I said I wanted in a man. In hindsight, I failed to REALIZE it was all about the sex initially, but when it did strike me, I made my peace with it and served my role faithfully. He rang, I came. Literally and figuratively. There were no dates, and conversation was just enough to continue the interest. Any public outings consisted of locales you might could find us doin' the damn thing, because yes, I like it like that.

I made the "mistake" of inviting him, once, to a networking event and he accepted the invitation. I was surprised, yes, because never before had he expressed much interest in my life outside of the bedroom. But he showed, up and apparently, he had a good time. He saw me interact with others, got a glimpse of my life, outside of the sex, and apparently he liked what he witnessed.

I'll never forget, the very next weekend, he asked me out. On a date. He was all cuddly and affectionate. He took me to the movies and he wanted to go out to dinner, but I feigned a headache and ended up going home. Aside from the standardness (Is that a word? LOL) of the activities, I was totally freaked out. WTF? This is/was all about the sex, and now, suddenly he's feeling...amorous and lovey-dovey. Nah, not the kid. I was content with my role and we all know you can't make ya ho, ya housewife.

I never called him again, and avoided his calls for as long as I could. Eventually, he stopped calling. Can't say I thought of him much over the years, but I'm confident he has found the right woman to fill the next role in his life, lover and wife.

I'm there again, but this time the shoe is on the other proverbial foot. I failed to remember that you can't make ya ho, ya house-husband, in this case. Predictably, the brotha has gone into hiding, and I can't say I blame him. Again, when I admitted I wanted this to be more than just sex, and ACCEPTED he obviously couldn't give me that, I did shed a tear. I had to chalk it up to the game and give the brotha up (for lent LOL) It's not what I wanted, but then again, getting this RIGHT is not about what I want, now is it?

Yea, karma is a bitch.

Song of the Day: "Young Love" by Teena Marie