I don't think I want this....

I got two (count 'em, 2) marriage proposals this week, on the same day, within hours of each other.

Either the sun - moon - stars - planets all lined up in my favor and my shit was all together and on point; or

Brothas in Atlanta have the weakest.lines.ever.

One question/statement that I've grown tired of hearing is the disbelief that I am *still* single.

I know why I'm single:
-- Cuz negroes don't know what *courting* is...they want to much to soon.
-- Cuz negroes aren't courteous...they ask for your number, don't call, or give you theirs, don't call back. If you aren't interested, SAY SO DAMNIT. They say they don't want drama, but they keep playing games...what gives?

Dating is disillusioning and disappointing. I'm getting my stuff together for what? This?

At a minimum I ask for courtesy and to be courted. No one has stepped up to the plate and followed through in years. YEARS. I admit I wasn't so courteous in the past, but I've learned to treat others how I wish to be treated. Can a brotha do me the honors now?

Now that I got THAT rant out the way....

My recent visit with the old folks learned me some lessons about relationships that have affected my thoughts on marriage. I've been single too long, me thinks. I don't know if I have it in me to give to and for another in a life-long commitment. Moms and I had a conversation once about why she went back to work after getting married. Seems she had wanted to take a vacation somewhere and my father told her no, she couldn't. They couldn't afford it. She immediately went and got a job. That was the last time he would ever tell her she couldn't do something.

Another time, we were out all day and not due home until relatively late, so she wouldn't be home to fix dinner. Now he's retired and had been home most of the day and fed himself breakfast and lunch just fine, but she felt bad about not being there to cook him dinner. Now, my *single*-minded self was thinking, "he can cook his own dinner, he's been home, he ain't doing nothing, sheeit...dinner should be ready for US when we get home." Guess those wifely duties had moms feeling it....I'm completely disinterested.

I chuckle at that -- both my parents have *changed* over the years, and for all the independent values they instilled in me growing up, I see how much they still cater to and care for each other, as a couple. That they need and want to be together. Even on those days when they grow absolutely sick of each other. And they just celebrated year 34....Happy Anniversary, Mommie and Daddy!!

For all my claims that I don't want to stay single, and that I do want to be married and have a family, the more examples I see, the more weddings I attend, the more dates I go on...the more I am discouraged. And kids? I say, publicly, that I love 'em -- but the truth is, kids get on my damn nerves...even the ones related to me LMAO I have absolutely no interest in meeting any brotha's kids -- "no, I don't wanna see their photos, no, I don't give a damn if you ARE taking care of 'em, I really ain't feeling that" -- so that's just another strike for a potential date. And we all know the older we get the more difficult it is to find a potential spouse that doesn't already have children. That is, if you want and are seeking a spouse...

Which I don't honestly believe I want anymore. Funny enough, I had the most.vivid.dream the other night, that Rip Hamilton was my husband!!! O.M.G...how and why? Me have NO IDEA LOLOL I don't even find his lil' narrow ass attractive, but he was in my dreams, and it was clear he was *my husband.* As my sister says, millions of dollars will make anybody attractive. Maybe, and if he had locs...then we could have a conversation LMAO

But I want some company.....

Your #1 Love Type: ENTP

The Visionary In love, you are always trying to improve and grow your relationship. For you, sex should be a spontaneous adventure. Overall, you are magnetic, inspiring, and a charmer. However, you tend to get bored and want to change partners frequently. Best matches: INFJ and INTJ

What's" Your Love Type?

..::More to Come::..

[Song of the Day: Baby, Hold On by Angela Winbush]