Speech Impediments

[Song of the day: "Still," by Tamia]

So, this brotha engages me in conversation. Why he picks me, I dunno. Maybe cuz I was carrying the chicken and we all know negroes luv some chicken. Hmmm...should
that be a pick up mechanism?! Me thinks NOT LOL

In any case, I don't even catch it at first. In hindsight perhaps it's because he isn't saying THAT much, but when he corners me out on the deck, sits right next to me and I can fully look him in the eye as I munch on the chicken bones, it becomes obvious. He stutters. Pretty badly.

Now I should come clean here - my father has a speech "issue" and he says his stems from his days as a child. Being somewhat outspoken and prone to debate, he was always been told to "shut up" and it affected his speech patterns and hence he stammers, rather, not stutters, when he gets all wound up about something. My sister and I harken it to his "speaking Japanese." It can be quite hilarious. Guess you had to be there.

And I constantly find myself laughing OUT loud at movie scenes with stuttering characters. That boxer dude, Jack Jenkins from Harlem Nights ("R-R-R-R-Ready?" and "He gone get kn-kn-kn-kn-knocked...the fuck out!") has me on the floor every time I watch that movie. Which happens to be one of my favorites, I need to update my profile. And recently, I was watching Baadasssss! and one of the characters had a stuttering issue. I was screaming with laughter in the damn theater!!

So given my track record with on-screen characters, I KNEW I wasn't gonna last live and in person. But we carry on this conversation, and I begin to notice his stuttering seems more pronounced when I look him in the face. So I decide to look elsewhere. Did I mention I am on my 3 or 4th Smirnoff Green Apple Twist?!

Yea, so I am sliding into FADE territory and I see my boy Frankie Don across the deck, and I know he hears all this going on, but I also know that if I even glance at him, it will be all over because he has this propensity to make me laugh with just a glance. But I can no longer pay attention to ol' dude because recognize my limits and I have to look at him because that is just how I communicate, so I get up, mid-convo and leave. Back inside the house. Lawd help me, cuz I try to do RIGHT!! So I walk smack into another dude handing out pina coladas, which I happily partake in and meander downstairs to hijack the TV from the fellas so I can sit still and get my mind right, lest I just start the giggles. Stutterboy eventually made in down to the basement, but he was playing cards and thank GAWD he wasn't a shit talker cuz I would have pissed on myself from the laughter!!! LMAO

But I got to thinking from these encounters, why is it that this speech issue is soo damn funny to me?! I know sometimes I get affected as when I can get all I need to say
out fast enough and I'll just make the "blah" sound, take a deep breath and proceed. But I imagine it can be frustrating. And folks like me who are fully amused musn't be
well-received, not to mention I feel bad about it. I should't take amusement at the misfortunes of others. But I dunno where this amusement comes from, that is what has been on my mind most of the day as I've been recovering....

That, and that Smirnoff Ice and Pina Coladas are NOT my friends....